When I Was A Mean Sister

This is me with my kids with my little brother. Well, I should say my younger brother. He’s much bigger than me, now. But he used to be littler than me and I used to beat him up. I was a mean sister. Like, really mean. And mom and dad would always say, “Maggie–someday he’s gonna be bigger than you, so you better watch out.” Funny. I didn’t believe them…but it happened. And when it did, I learned not to pick on him anymore.

But before I learned, I would do some mean things. (You know, because I was a mean sister.) Like, one time we were waiting at my dad’s gas station and my mom had to go run an errand. She gave me money to get a treat out of the snack machine and told me I had to share it with my brother. Well, David fell asleep on the dirty old couch in the lobby. So, I got us a brownie out of the vending machine and ate my half. Then I got bored. So I decided to feed the rest of it to my brother as he was sleeping. Seemed like a good idea at the time. After all, Mom told me to share but she never said how to share. Can I just tell you how fun that was? Seldom have I laughed that hard since.

As he lay there in his dreamy slumber on the couch, I quietly poked bits of chocolate brownie into his cheek. Since he wasn’t waking up, I decided to just go ahead and poke the whole thing in. Then I hid behind the side of the couch and laughed hysterically as brown, chocolate goo, oozed from his drooling lips.

Well, eventually Mom came back and told me to go wake up my brother because it was time to go. So, I gladly performed my sisterly duty. I will never forget the next few moments. He sat up on the couch with a very confused look on his face. Something weird was in his cheeks. The gooey-ick found it’s way to his tongue. Ooohhh, he LIKED it! It was GOOOOD! But, wait, he was choking! Then he was crying. But why was he crying? Didn’t it taste good? He was not a little perplexed. I was rolling on the floor laughing. This was before the term ROFL was so overused. Because when I tell you that I was rolling on the floor laughing, I really do mean it. Like, LROFL.

Then Mom came. She got very upset. I got in big doo-doo trouble. Then, I had to apologize to my brother. He forgave me. He always forgave me. He was the kindest little brother a girl could ever have.

I just wanted to tell you that story. I think I’m gonna go clean my house now.

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