While They’re Sleeping

Sometimes it takes these quiet moments of them falling fast asleep before it occurs to me, and I have to catch my breath, just how head-over-heels madly in love I am with them. These children of mine–God’s little masterpieces.

Growing so big already and I’ve only had them for a little while. When I was three and a half, I don’t know where I was. At times I was with relatives and sometimes living with complete strangers because my mom would walk into a house and drop me off. Often I was in and out of foster homes, always at the mercy of whatever grown-ups my birth parents or the social workers left me with. So, I gaze at him and marvel how I ever got to grow up and have him at all.

When Gideon was just a baby, I remember how I couldn’t stop staring at him. Couldn’t believe how beautiful he was, how peaceful his little chest would rise and fall with each new breath. Now, I have to remind myself to pause and notice them. Really, deeply notice them. In the midst of all our busyness. I don’t want to miss this–just that they are here, right beside me. Their little hands reaching up and clasping mine. I’ve seen a lot of beautiful things on the earth. But, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than them.

And I wonder. Where will the current of their days take them? I try to look ahead but, of course, I can’t see what joy or pain they’ll feel. So, I pray for them. I pray into them, quietly while they rest.

Lord, help them not to turn from You one day of their lives–capture their hearts, their affections. Be real to them. And close. Help them to run after you and always find You there. Yes, help them. Lord, whatever happens, please help them. Be with them…like You’ve been with me. And thank You for making them. And that for some mysteriously glorious reason, You made them to come from me. You create such beautiful things–I can’t thank You enough.

2 Comments

  1. by Robin on August 11, 2012  3:58 pm Reply

    This is such a sweet post. Maybe one of your best. It's so true that they grow up way too quickly. Time just good by way too quickly. We must never take one breath for granted. Enjoy every moment, even the messy ones.

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