What To Do When You Feel Like a Dweeb

Sometimes, I do terribly awkward things.

Like, the time I told the lady in the check-out line that she had a beautiful head.

She was bald, and I wanted her to know that even though she was bald, her head was quite nice. Now, I thought that was a perfectly normal thing to say. But, according to my son, who did a facepalm and then beseeched me, pleading, “Mom, please don’t ever say something like that again. It’s just weird,” I figured, that maybe I was indeed, after all, a dweeb.

Just as I had suspected.

There was also the time that I drove through the Lowe’s garden center. Now, grant it, I was young. I mean, I was a grown-up, but I was a very young, just starting out grown-up.

When I asked the Lowe’s employee where he wanted me to pull up so he could load my mulch, he said, “Right here is fine.” Being the literal person that I was at the time, I thought he actually meant, right there, where he was standing. And he just so happened to be standing inside the garden center, taking inventory on the mulch aisle.

So, I shrugged and walked back out onto the parking lot, got into my Jeep and began cautiously backing my way inside the garden center. I tediously maneuvered around the flats of flowers, being oh so careful not to hit the lady in the shopping cart who was staring at me with wide eyes.

I confess. I felt proud of myself once I finally made it to the mulch aisle. My self-confidence was shot, though, once the guy with the clipboard began yelling, “What are you DOING? GET OUT!”

When I explained to him that he was the one who told me exactly where to park, he explained to me that I could have gotten him fired.

Anyways.

I’ve had my fair share of moments. I’ve said and done things, only to walk away feeling sheepishly like an idiot. The thing that I’ve discovered, though, is that it isn’t helpful to replay those embarrassing moments and beat myself up.

Turns out, beating ourselves up, doesn’t help us to change. It only makes us feel crummier.

So, over the years, I’ve given myself a few chats which have helped me to feel less of a moron and more free to just be my truest, beautifulest, sometimes awkward self.

I’m scribbling down these 5 little mantras here for you. Just in case you ever feel like a dweeb, too.

1. When you recall to mind, the dweebish thing that you have just done, simply say to yourself, “Self. It’s okay. It really is okay. All humans are dweebs from time to time. Welcome to the club.”

2. Forgive yourself.

You can simply repeat, while taking a deep, slow breath, “Self, I forgive you for being a dweeb. Probably it’s going to happen again in about an hour. I’ll forgive you then, too.”

3. Remember that most likely, no one is sitting around right at this very moment thinking,

“Wow. (Insert your name here) is such a dweeb. I don’t know how they are even making it in this life.”

No. Most likely that person isn’t even thinking about you at all because they have a few other things going on.

4. Remind yourself that God loves you.

There aren’t any moments when He doesn’t love you. Truth is, you just want to be loved. You want to be loved by everybody at all times, but that is not possible. It is, however, possible to be always loved by your Father, and His love is so big and great and vast that it never ends and it never stops chasing after you and holding you close. So, that’s enough love for you to go on being your free, crazy, awkward dweebish self.

5. Laugh at yourself. Sigh deep. Do the next thing. Enjoy your life. No since in wasting time in a cycle of condemning thoughts. Do you want to keep on loving? Okay, then. Keep on loving. Show up. Try again.

After all, that’s what people will mostly remember about you in the end. Did you love? Well, they’ll remember that, and they’ll have a few funny stories to tell at your funeral.

Love,
Maggie

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