Sometimes I get afraid of life. I can't explain all the reasons why, but I just kinda go through these spurts or seasons when I'm more prone to be fearful of things and my heart feels fragile and I have a hard time roping my imagination in.And it's strange because it's something that happens on the inside of me and I'm finding that it has nothing to do with what's going on, on the outside of me. Like, today for instance. Today is the most lovely, breezy, warm, full-of-light kind of day. And there's nothing in my life to be afraid of. At least nothing that I can see. But, for whatever reason, I have a lot of what-ifs running through my head, and before I know it, I'm plumb sceered! Scared of the world. Scared for my kids. Scared of what could happen in my life. Just scared. And I don't like[...]

Today wasn't like my best day ever. I mean, it started out good. I got up early. Like before the kids. That's always a victory. But, it pretty much went down hill from there. As in, as soon as the kids got up. I didn't do a lot of things I wish I would have. And I did a lot of stuff I wish I hadn't. But, I forgive myself. It's not all that surprising to me that I can be a train wreck. Tomorrow will be better, I think.The part I regret the most was how terribly impatient I was with my children. At one point, I had to ask Gideon's forgiveness. And again, it's not all that surprising to me that I can be a real jerk, but I am always surprised at how quickly that little guy forgives. I mean, right away he forgives. And he hugged me big and made me want to be more like him. We prayed and asked J[...]

We're addicted to color around here. And lately, we've been coloring everything. We color our eggs and our cream of wheat and our ice cubes and our cheeks and our shirts and our paper and our patio and pretty much anything we can get our hands on. We like color. Color makes everything so colorful. God must love color, too. Because He colored the whole world with it. Even the galaxies. Did you know the galaxies are different colors? Breathtaking colors. And underneath the sea, way down deep, there's all these colors, too.  I mean, He could have made everything black and white and we never would have known. But, He didn't. He made all these shades and hues and they make life brilliant and vibrant and nice to look around at.Do you ever wonder if God has a favorite color? Because it seems[...]

I read in morning light these ancient words. That because I have believed in Him, believed in His Name, that He gave me the right to become a child of God. And that I'm born, born of Him eternal. (John 1:12-13)I do feel new again.Then, I remember more of those old words, that I am in Christ. (1 Corinthians 1:30) And today I have a new picture of what that means. Because I feel the ache. Like never before I feel it, wanting to be wrapped up in the womb of God. You know, spiritually speaking. Completely covered in His amniotic love. To swim around in it. To be nurtured by it. Wholly sustained. And isn't a womb a safe place? Or shouldn't it be? But, I had heard that safety in this world is not a place, but a Person. Surely the womb of God is the safest. Him protecting from everything wicked a[...]

Some days I feel kinda fragile inside. My emotions don't obey me and they do such strange things and I feel scattered and scared. There's these times when I really want to be strong and unwavering, but I just feel so weak. Like, I need an anchor or something solid for my soul. I need a refuge. Somewhere to run and rest a while.And I feel hungry. And I don't mean the physical kind of hunger, but the deep inside kind. I need some soul nourishment, something substantial, something my spirit can chew on that'll make me strong again.I read that I was made this way. All of us made with that ache. That need for filling. A Someone who is kind enough to care and strong enough to save. A Refuge. A Rock. A Nourisher of soul-hunger.So, when I'm scared I run. Fragile-hearted, I flee. Right for the Re[...]

 There is a God of glory. Petal-weaver, Moss-Maker, Conductor of wind symphony. Daily at workabove and beneath me.  I sense Him around me, reach out to feel Him. Maker of HeavenDweller of hearts.The One who captures my utmost attentionArrests me in wonder. He captivates. Him all beauty.    He is Light.Gently Cascading.Warm and healing this heart of mine.PenetratingInmost places.  A tender shoot, I am opened.Unfurling, I stretch  To Him all there.Untwisting I reachOut to Him Up for Him.I soak in the light   of Him all joy. There is a Great Redeemer. Chaser of darkness.Slayer of sadness. Who comes to save. Cheerer of sore hearts.Lifter of heads.I find sweetest soul restin Him all Strength. He is the Center.Blazing bright C[...]

My redbud died. Well, actually it was Hope's. We got it to celebrate her first birthday and planted it sometime early September. And it looked beautiful those autumn months--some of those heart shaped leaves turning crimson just before falling off. I had tried to picture it years down the road, how it would look in that spot and wondered if little hands and feet would climb into it's branches and I'd thought about planting phlox underneath. It never occurred to me that this little "Hope-tree" wouldn't make it through the winter.And for weeks after the grass sprung up and the crocus bloomed and the daffodils came, I had walked out to that tree and looked for new growth. But, it never came. All the other redbuds have been at their peek all over our neighborhood, but not this little guy.I ben[...]

The wind blows today. I hear it in the hollow of my chimney, the way it rushes through the emptiness and makes that haunting noise.My tall grass beside the patio rustles and bends. Those pines sway and the tops of them wave. A shimmy shake. I sit on the couch while little ones rest and read the craziest thing.There's this guy named Ezekiel, and he's a servant of the Lord. God's hand was on him and one day He shows him something he'll never forget. Ezekiel finds himself in this valley and it was full of bones. I mean, they were strewn everywhere, and they were dry and bleached by the sun.I pause and think about the words and I can picture all this in my imagination. That dusty valley out in the middle of nowhere. Heaps of bones. I feel dry inside. I keep reading. God asks Ezekiel a question[...]

A long time ago, before stars filled up the sky or before there was a sun to make the day bright. Before there were little acorns growing up into oaks or there was an ocean teeming full of mysterious living things, there was God. And He was thinking way ahead. About you. About me. About all of us.And He knew we would need rescued. And that He would rescue us. And He knew how He would rescue us. And so He sent Himself as a great Rescuer. He sent us Jesus. And this Jesus brought the world grace. And grace is the stuff we need to live this life. To live a life that's holy. A life that's set apart.And so through Jesus, He gave us this grace as a gift. Not because of our works. Not because of our struggle and strive to measure up. Because we can't. And we don't. Every day we fall and we get sou[...]