On Top of the World

We recently acquired a slide from a kind neighbor. Now, the story begins…in Bubby’s own version, of course.

Oh, mother, there’s really nothing better after playing in the water hose than conquering a slide.

It’s actually a great feat to climb this thing while your pants are soakin wet and your diaper’s extra heavy and there’s rocks in your shoes and your shirt’s a-smellin like dirt and grubs.

But alas, this feat is not too much for me. You see, I am a Bubby-Warrior. There is no toy slide too high that I would not dare to climb it.

I know I’m just a youngin’ but I must show the world that there is nothing to fear but fear itself. I think a really important person said that.

Now, mama, I hear you chuckling. You may not think I’m so brave, but do consider–this slide may be one small step for grown-ups–but it’s one giant leap for a toddler. I think another important person said something like that.

Yes, from these heights I can see for miles. Those ant hills are mere nothings to me now. Oh you grass and dieing leaves, how I do tower over you.

Owe…huuuuurts. I fear I have inherited my lack of flexibility from my noble father.

Aha! I’ve made it! Whew–the sun is a bit more sweltering at this elevation.
I gaze out over this vast yard and feel a warmth entering my soul. But one cannot maintain these altitudes for long periods…now I must make my descent.

Oh, hello there, mother. What are you doing all the way down there? Why, you have become so much smaller in stature.

Hmmm…this is a bit more precarious than I had hoped. (Gulp)
And it’s getting a little harder to breath. I heard oxygen is sparse at such lofty elevations.

Ahem…mother…do you mind to just escort me as I descend back to earth?

Well, that is, right after the neighbor kid rides by on his bike.

It’s not that I’m all that worried, mom. It’s just that I fear I would get my britches real, real dirty if I crash to the bottom. I know how much you disdain scrubbing grass stains.

Uh-oh. Speaking of britches…I think I just wet my pants a little.

Woe…woe...I’m slipping!

Aaagh….eeehhh…arms are burning

I’m, I’m, aaggghhh…not…gonna…maaaakkke it


Whammy-ka-blammy! All I can see is a bright light. Am I in heaven, now?

Nope, I don’t think this is heaven. There are still weeds growing around mom’s flower bushes.

Yay! That was exhilarating!
Mom, did you see that?

I told you I could do it all by myself.
Now, where’d Dad park that lawn-mower?
I think it’s high time I had a turn drivin’ that thing.


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