How to Start the New Year Off Right

Would you like to get your New Year off to a good start, my friends? Follow these simple instructions. 
Firstly, ignore the fact that your children are in dire need of going to bed. Just never mind that they are past the delirious point and have now entered in to the certifiably-crazed-we’re-literally-going-looney phase and just focus on yourself and your deep need for something covered in chocolate.
Then get you out some chocolate. Some chocolate that you can melt in the microwave-y  machine.
And then get you out some honey grahams. Or some Oreos. Or some Ritz or just anything you’ve got in that there pantry that you can cover in chocolate.
Then grab some candy canes from off the Christmas tree. The Christmas tree that has now shed all it’s needles because you neglected to water it for the last week. The Christmas tree that has shed all it’s needles that keep poking you in the socks that make you do a funny hop-on-one-foot dance while simultaneously making up crazy newfangled words in order to keep from saying other not-so-nice words.
Then find you some peppermint exact.  And while we’re on the subject of peppermint extract, I would like to tell you a story.
One time when Brent and I were dating, I decided to make him a cup of hot cocoa. But not just any hot cocoa. I decided to make him a peppermint cocoa with whipped cream and sprinkles. Only I didn’t realize that a little dab of this stuff will do ya. So, I dumped a bit too much in. And then I gave it to him. And he was not impressed. He choked. And I think his eyes starting crossing against his will. And he said he’d be alright if I never made that for him again. It was not our most romantic moment.
 So anyways, you melt your chocolate and add just a dab of peppermint–truly, just a dab–and then you dip your honey grahams and various other crunchy snacks in there and then you sprinkle your crushed candy canes on the top. And then you serve it to yourself.
 And you generously leave one for the other members of the household to ration amongst themselves.
Oh, and lastly, you drink down some nice cold  milk. Preferable out of a brightly colored kiddy-cup. Because everything tastes better in a brightly colored kiddy-cup.
And that, my friends, is how you start the New Year off right.


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