Category archives: Marriage

The Wind of God

Yesterday the wind was very windy. My friend tells me how she noticed it whipping everything into winter ready shape. And we chat about how though we can't see the wind, we can see all that it does as we look around and about. I'm reminded of a verse I read that talks about the Holy Spirit, how He, too, is like the wind. (John 3:6-10) The wind rushes this way and that. We hear it rustling the tall grasses and whipping through the trees, but we can't see where it comes from and we don't exactly know where it's going. So it is with the Spirit of God. We can't see Him. We can't reach out to touch Him or hold a part of Him in our hand. But we see His movements, sometimes this rushing, sometimes this gentle sort of breathing. And we know He's there because we see what He does as we look up and [...]

When You Wonder What the Cold Days Are Good For

The weather has turned cold on me and I've become this shameful wimp, preferring the warmth of the great indoors to the adventure of the great outdoors. We haven't gone out in three days. I think that's a record. I'm not exactly proud.  But, my artist friend tells me that there are so many good things about the cold and winter coming. She tells me how everything has it's own season, and the cold is for tucking in and being more still and quiet and for making art. She says it's when the creatives get all creative. So, I look forward to that--making art. And I've got this book writing project, so I've taken a little time each day to craft with words. It feels good, to look out my window and see the sun but still feel warm in here, all tucked away and eager to create.I've felt [...]

A Tribute to the Daddy of my Kids

Brent is a good daddy. I know he's only been a daddy for a few years, but he's been a good, good daddy all those years. And he's such a good daddy, that I'd like to commend him. Because it seems like really good daddies are pretty rare. And every kid in the whole world, they all need a good dad, but not everyone has one. And sometimes my heart is so full of thankfulness that God would give my kids, (my prized possessions) such a good man to protect and lead them, that I just have to spill it out and tell you how wonderful he is. So, here it is. This is what makes Brent such a good daddy man.Firstly, and really importantly, Brent loves me. He loves his kids by first loving his wife. That's pretty rare. He's intentional about staying connected to me. He calls throughout the day, sends emails[...]

What Love Does

Sometimes love is in bedtime prayers. When you're plumb worn out at the end of the day, but you go ahead and cuddle next to your boy anyway and stumble out some prayers. Then you let him have a turn and you watch him fold his hands and rest them on his forehead and ask God for tractors and help to grow up and be strong so he can march in a hip-parade and blow a trumpet.Sometimes love is when your husband pitches a tent in the backyard. And he's up for adventure and asks you to spend the night with him under stars but you've become this sissy britches in your old age and you like the feel of your cool sheets and you're not getting up to go out there and be awake all night. And the two of you get in an argument the next day over whether or not you disappointed him and you both spill your gut[...]

When You're Stuck and Need to Change

We sit there in the Jeep for like half an hour in front of our friend’s house. They’ve invited Brent and I to a Christmas party and we’re supposed to go inside but right now we don’t like each other and we’d rather not pretend. We don’t agree. We don’t agree at all. He parents the kids one way and I the other and at the moment I’m thinking that what he does is absolutely terrible and what I do is not bad at all. After all, he’s the sinner and I’m the saint. But, really, I’m just full of pride and pride always makes the neck stiff and the nose go in the air and points the finger and heaps the blame.  We’re stuck. He’s not budging and I’m not budging and I begin to feel awfully sorry for our kids who might  grow up dazed and confused and perhaps a bit disillusioned. Then comes[...]

A little marriage help

I like being married to this man. Isn't he beautiful? I love his eyes. I remember the first time I sat in a room full of people with him, I kept looking back at him and whispering to God, "Wow...he's beautiful. God, You did a really good job when You made him." I kept saying that over and over again. I haven't stopped thinking it since. Of course, we don't have a perfect marriage. Because I'm messed up and Brent, well, he's messed up and two messed up people do not a perfect marriage make. But, I am in love with him. And it's not all my fault either. Brent is an amazing man. He works hard at the things that are important to him. He's intentional. He gets discouraged but he doesn't give up. He keeps pursuing, he keeps asking forgiveness, he keeps asking me questions, he keeps wanting to do [...]

What Forgiveness Does

As you know, when you're married, sometimes you fail each other.Even if you're surrounded by lots of people with great marriages and you hear lots of messages about how to communicate and how to give and how to love, the truth is, sometimes you just mess up. And in your messing up, you mess up the one you love the most.And sadly, the other person, (the one you love the most) has to suffer the consequences of your choices. Your choice to be selfish, or your choice to say that thing that stings, or your choice to just not talk and to close up your heart and leave them wondering if you'll ever even like them again.And it would seem like no two people could ever really have what all the storybooks tell and what all the movies portray--that never-stopping, heart-delighting, blissfully [...]

What Love Does

Brent is gone to a meeting and Bubby is in bed. I really ought to be cleaning the kitchen and sweeping the floor, but I'm just plumb tired. Besides, it's much funner to just sit here and write about "love" instead.Speaking of love, I'm quite fond of this guy. And for some reason, he still says I'm pretty.Even though my belly's gettin really big and I put "Sun-In" in my hair and my roots are growin out way too fast. And even though I don't look like that girl in the magazine rack at the grocery store...he still whispers, "You're so beautiful." He just keeps looking past all the blemishes and the tired eyes and into this heart of mine and he values things that can't be seen.That's what love does.Do you know what he did tonight? He knew he had a meeting to go to, so when he got home from w[...]

Some Good Marriage Advice

A sweet friend just told me some good marriage advice. So good, that I sat there shaking my head and thought...I really needed to hear that. Wait...I really want to do that!Here's the gist of what she said:"When you get married, it's like you're suddenly holding this picture in your hand of all that you want and think your spouse should be. Over the years, you have a choice. You can either hold on to that picture really tight, and shred up your spouse with your expectations...or you can love and accept your spouse for who they really are, and shred up that picture."Lord, help me to build Brent up with my words and actions. I don't want to shred him to pieces by choking him with all the expectations that a girl tends to come up with. I want to be a You are to me. But I[...]

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