I’m being a little more still these days. Because I have a new little one and my first trip to Lowe’s with the three kids made me realize that I just don’t quite have what it takes to go out and about just yet. I had thought it would be fun to get out and buy some living things. But, Gideon and Hope were far too fascinated with the bird baths and trickling water fountains to listen to their momma yell repeatedly to come back and Samuel took up all the space in the shopping cart with his car seat so there wasn’t much room for perennials, anyways. Even if they were on sale for a dollar.
So, I’m enjoying my yard more. And my house is staying a little cleaner because I used to leave my laundry and dishes behind on a whim, but now I get tired just thinking about it.
And while I’m being a little more still, I’m noticing life and thoroughly enjoying it. Like, the wild asters blooming that I had dug up from the woods a couple years ago and planted in my flower bed. And my Maple trees that are still incredibly green and full flourishing. I know it won’t be long before all those leaves turn and fall and I’ll be able to see light and sky through bare branches again.
And since I’m being still, I’ve turned off the computer more and have gotten on Facebook less and I’m enjoying these little people right here in front of me. I keep looking them full in the face and can’t stop admiring all the wild happy light in their eyes when they run across the yard. I’m loving their loud, rambunctious laughter and I keep pausing to listen in on their pretending, because I know all too soon these playful pretending days will be folded up and done.
And I’ve noticed, in this slower, quieter pace that my heart hears better. I’ve been hungry for God and have been running after Him because I want to live where He is. And I can tell that when I’m not on the computer so much or in a hurry so much, it’s easier to hear Him. It’s easier to know that He really is just right here and He has things He wants to tell me. It’s easier to pay attention to the things that matter most.
I don’t really know how to live this life all that well, so I’ve got to slow down enough to ask my Maker and then to be still enough to listen. I need His grace. I need Him to move in with me and to work in my life to accomplish what I can’t exactly do on my own.
You would think that life with two highly energetic kids and a newborn would leave me exhausted and spent, but the truth is, I’ve just had to be a little more still. And in all the being still, I’m finding God is near and this life is breath-takingly beautiful. Now, I’m a little bit sleep deprived, but I’ve got this soul-rest and so I do feel so alive.
Thank You, Lord. This is a good place to be.