An edited repost. Because I feel this every year...right about this same time... I think this northern winter is taking its toll. Last night I lay awake thinking about all the little ants down deep in their tunnels and what they must be doing, groping around in the dark and cold. I wanted to yell to them, “Hold on little ants! Spring is coming! You’ll get to see the light soon!” And I imagined the moment that first little guy emerged from his hole, like coming up out of a grave, his tiny antennae sensing bright warmth for the first time in months. I wonder if ants do a hallelujah dance. Since I was wide awake, I started imagining bees buzzing and crocus popping and grass green  and trees finding their leaves again. I imagined that first barefoot step I’ll take out in the[...]

      It's so cold here. Just so cold. Today the wind blows the snow from the trees and everything is still the whitest white and I've been staying inside much more than I care to admit. I've got these daydreams that keep me warm. I'm there at the camp lake with my kids. They're playing in the shallows and  hunting for shells and tadpoles while I'm sifting sand through my toes with the sun on my cheeks. I'm smiling in my daydreams. And I'm warm. Toasty warm. About this time every year I start wondering why in tarnations I moved to the north country and what the winter is even good for anyways. But, I've got this friend who strings wooden beads in her hair and paints with hemp and she tells me that there are so many good things about the cold and winter. This friend who grows [...]

 Dear Son,I know we haven't met yet. Like, officially. But, boy do I love you. And it's getting so close and these last couple weeks have been increasingly hard to wait for that breathtaking moment when you birth into this world and into my arms. I remember how your big brother and sister's eyes blinked, the first time they took in all the light. And how they lifted up their head and peered up and our eyes met. There was this knowing, that we belonged to each other. And somehow in that moment, it felt like home. I don't think I can ever forget that. Life is just so much waiting and we've been waiting all these nine months as you've been growing and I've felt your movements as you've stretched and kicked and I've loved knowing that you are alive and well and full of energy. There were [...]

I think this Michigan winter is taking it's toll. Last night I lay awake thinking about all the little ants down deep in their tunnels and what they must be doing, groping around in the dark and cold. I wanted to yell to them, "Hold on little ants! Spring is coming! You'll get to see the light soon!" And I imagined the moment that first little guy emerged from his hole, like coming up out of a grave, his little antennae sensing bright warmth for the first time in months. I wonder if ants do a hallelujah dance. And since I was wide awake, I started imagining bees buzzing and crocus popping and grass green  and bending and swaying. I imagined that first barefoot step I'll take out in the yard with the birds chirping and the breeze warming and the scent of all the wild and growing things[...]