At the end of the day, you might have a wreck on your hands. But, you might have made this new year’s resolution, back, way back when you were feeling very resolution-y and you might have told yourself from here on out that you would do the dishes before you hit the hay. Because that way you’d wake up with a clean slate and a clean kitchen and that would make you happy in life.

And that way you wouldn’t yell at your kids so much. And you wouldn’t glare at your husband. And you wouldn’t kick the cat. And you wouldn’t spit on spiders.

P.S. I don’t spit on spiders. Spitting is disgusting and I think it should be outlawed. And I don’t kick the cat on purpose. But, sometimes I do those other things.

P.S. again. One time when I used to share a bathroom with my sister, she was brushing her teeth and she spit on her own toothbrush. And then she just put it back in her mouth and kept brushing and she said arrogantly, “What? It’s my own spit?” I’ve had this weird gagging reflex ever since. I can’t brush my teeth at the same time with anyone. Ever. Thanks a lot, seester! 

So, anyways, back to the wreck on your hands. You might look around at the macaroni in the sink and the crud on the counter and that might make you feel really tired. So tired that you throw in the towel and you call it quits and you decide to make up a rap instead.