What Is My Passion?

A friend asked me to write out for her what my passion is. We’re working on a book project, so she kinda needed to know what I care most about in life. Sheesh. That’s a hard question and I feel stuck, like I have to say something really professional. And goodness, anyone who knows me, knows that I’m the worst at being professional. I don’t even iron my clothes. I don’t even brush my hair all the time because it looks a little wavy when I don’t brush it. And, that’s not very professional. Everybody knows that.

Well, I am good at rambling, so if you don’t mind, I’m just gonna ramble around here and try to figure out what in the world my passion is. You don’t mind do you? I am passionate about some things. Besides just chocolate and naps and Brent’s beard.

First of all, I’m passionate about living my one life well. And by that, I mean that I’m keenly aware that I don’t have forever on this earth. I may not even have a whole week left, so I really want my life to count. I want to love well. And who do I want to love well? The people that God has put right here in front of me. The ones that He’s given me to reach out and actually touch, and to look full in the face of. This begins with my own dear handsome husband and my two sweet little kids.

I really want to love them. I don’t want to wish them away, ever, or think of them as an inconvenience, though I sometimes do. When I’m with them, I want to notice them. And I want to pour as much of myself as I can into their lives. My little kids need their mama to teach them things and my husband needs his best friend to stay in his corner and cheer for him. I very much want to do that. I guess you can say I’m passionate about lavishing love on the ones right here with me. I don’t claim to do it well, but I aim to keep trying. I want to deeply love all the folks in my little world.

I’m also passionate about my God. I very much believe that He’s real and that He’s intimately involved in the world and in the details of my life. (Although I don’t claim to fully understand Him, not one bit!) But, since I believe He’s real, I just can’t think of anything more important than knowing Him and being close to Him. He is who I wake up thinking about and who I mumble words to as I drift off to sleep. And I don’t just notice Him in the morning or at night, I’m very aware of Him all around me, all throughout the day. I believe Him to be a God who is here.

And honestly, it makes me sad that people aren’t aware of Him. Or that people have a twisted view of Him. So, I suppose I’m passionate about having an actual relationship with Him and wanting other people to have that relationship with Him, too. I feel this in my bones, that God is overwhelmingly loving and breathtakingly beautiful. There are these moments when I just want to shout it from the roof or belt it out from some hilltop! (And sometimes even in the middle of the grocery store parking lot.) This knowledge of Him probably affects everything I say and do.

I’m also passionate about finding beauty in a world that’s marred and broken. Beauty is the stuff I need to keep breathing, so I’m always on the look out for it. I seriously need to find it, out in the yard or there in my kitchen. And the thing is, I do find it. I find it all around me, even in the grime. This somehow keeps me going and gives me hope.

Now this probably isn’t all that I’m ardent about. Actually, I can go on and on, but I’ll stop here for now.

And now that I’ve got to really thinking about life–it is beautiful, isn’t it? I mean, it’s hard. A lot of it hurts something fierce. But, it’s so fragile and lovely and full of all this joy-bursting wonder. And I’m thankful that I’ve got this heart thrumming, warm and full of things that I can’t help but be passionate about.

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