I heard once that girls are known for their crazy-complex, multifaceted, emotionally-complicated ways. Well, actually I’ve heard this like a bajillion times throughout my life. So, I’ve been doing some thinking. And I’ve come to the conclusion that girls really aren’t that hard to figure out after all. Because actually, believe it or not, they only need like three things. Let me break it down for you. 

All girls, big or small, old or young need a trio of:

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that a girl does indeed have a way of complicating things. It’s often hard to tell which of these three things she needs at which time. All too often, the symptoms look the same. For instance, a girl can get awfully cranky. Terribly moody. Downright mean. And you may be thinking that she just needs a hug. Well, go ahead and give her a hug…but you would do well to bring her some chocolate, too, just in case.

 While, unfortunately, you may feel stuck in this guessing game, I do have some good news for you. Although, it may be hard to discern when a girl is in desperate need of some tender lovin’ care, and when she’s just hungry, it’s a little easier to tell when all she needs is some sleep.

Yes, there are a few obvious signs, the first of them being tired eyes. At this point, you should probably simmer down. She doesn’t need any more of your wise cracks or brilliant advice. And this would not be a good time to ask her to bring you some chips.

The next thing you should take notice of is loss of composure.

Amazingly enough, most girls will try to maintain their dignity by not letting on they are actually…feeling…very…very…sleeeeepy…so you’ll have to be especially attuned to facial expressions.

Also, when a girl is tired, she may begin to exhibit a loss of mental awareness. You may start to wonder if she’s “all-there.” I mean, one moment she’ll be explaining to you the perfect pair of hippie shoes and the next minute she’ll be asking you what year it is. Or what planet she’s on.

Probably the biggest sign however, is emotional break-down. Her compelling story may begin by recounting to you her heroic rescue of seven salamanders and speaking of salamanders, she’ll burst into tears at the remembrance that she does not yet own a BABY PONY!!! She’ll be devastated. At this point, you can tell her she’s pretty till you’re blue in the face, and she will not be comforted. Not even chocolate will suffice. 

If she ever goes from laughing hysterically to this…

…and when the tongue comes out and the bubble-blowin’ squalling starts, well, then there’s no doubt.
This girl needs a nap! And you better get her one.

I’m tellin’ you, just let her sleep. 

She’ll be back to her happy-smilin, cheerful self before you know it.