If you ever wake up one day to find to your utter horror, that your ears are hanging too low, please, oh please don’t panic. Just take a deep breath, find you a pair of toilet paper tubes, and cover those shameful things up.

Things might sound a little funny. Like everyone is talking to you through an intercom while your head is stuck in an inner tube in the middle of a busy airport, but hey. No one will notice your ears. Relax. Just keep smiling.

Or, if by chance you go outside and the sun is so shiney that it makes your eyes so squinty that you can’t actually see much for all the sun shining squintiness, don’t get all bent out of shape. Just pull out your pair of toilet paper tubes and shade those baby blues.

You might have trouble walking in a straight line and you might feel a little like a chameleon, but hey. At least you can see something.

Or if you’re ever on your way out the door only to realize you’re havin one of those bad hair days and there’s no taming the mane, well, just calm down. Whip out those tubes and place them atop your head and hold them there.

Your arms might get tired and your elbows might ache, but hey. Who cares? Just walk around and say…

Big whoop. Duh. I  know you are but what am I?

Play it cool. I guarantee you no one will even mention your hair.

Or, as luck would have it, if you find the world is coming to an uncanny end because it’s being invaded by alien martian creatures and you’re not sure where your light saber is, well, don’t be dismayed. Just pull out those handy dandy bazooka tubes and blast those extraterrestrials to Ten Buck Two. Ain’t no need to be scared. If you’ve got some toilet paper tubes, by all means, you’re prepared.

Just go ahead and save the day.

That is, if that ever happens to you.