When You Just Want to Be Close to God

Here lately, I’ve been drawing close to God. The One who made me, whose hands fashioned me, knit me together when I was in my mama’s tummy. (Psalm 139.) Because God, He says that if we draw close to Him, then He’ll draw close to us. And I want to be beside Him, because He’s kind.

He’s not a sky God. You know, the kind who sits on a cloud and yells from the sky every time you do something wrong? And threatens lightning bolts if you don’t straighten up?  No, He’s not that way. He’s the kind that sits down, though He has important things to do, and lets the little kids crawl up on His knee and puts His hand gentle on their head and looks deep into their eyes and He blesses them. (Matthew 19.) And who doesn’t want to be next to a God like that?

So, this week I’ve been taking a break from my Facebook. Which is actually a big deal for me, a huge deal, because that’s kinda a big way that I connect with people. And I really like connecting with people, but as connected as I’ve been, I’ve still felt lonely inside and I think it’s because I’ve been missing God. He aims to fill up our hearts but sometimes we fill them up with other things. So, I’ve been making more space for God. Space in my heart, space in my day and do you know what I’m finding? He’s doing what He said He would. He’s drawing close to me. I just keep running into Him every time I turn around. It’s the most beautiful thing.

I’ve been reading more of His Word and it’s doing something to my soul. It’s making me strong. Kind of like when you’re hungry and you feel weak because you need to eat, so you sit down and enjoy a good meal? That kind of strong. Because His Word is like food for my soul and I get hungry for it, and when I eat it, it turns into this energy that I need to live life.

Also, I’ve been talking to Him more about everything. And when I forget to talk to Him, and I remember again that He’s there, I just pick back up and talk to Him more. And then I sit still and just listen. And though I haven’t heard His audible voice, I do feel His Spirit. And sometimes I get these creative thoughts of inspiration and I just know they’re from Him. Or sometimes I have an idea of a way that I can help someone and I know that’s Him, too. Because this God of mine is loving and He wants me to reach out to the world and help. As best I can.

And I just can’t get over God. I think He’s wonderful. And breathtakingly beautiful. Although, sometimes He’s ferocious, too. Like, when He sends these big storms and frightens people or when He withholds rain and things die. And I don’t know why He does all those things He does but He’s God and I do believe He loves me.

I believe He loves me because His Word says so. And I believe He loves me because He laid down His life to redeem mine. And I believe He loves me because every day I feel it in some way. In red impatiens blooming in my flower pots. In sunlight through bright green leaves. In a little girl who copies me. In an email from a friend. A hundred daily ways He comes to whisper again and again. That He loves me.

I can’t help but want to draw near to a God like that.

“Draw near to God and He’ll draw near to you…” (James 4:8a)

Pictures taken from my friend’s, the Wuthnow’s farm. 

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