Today wasn’t like my best day ever. I mean, it started out good. I got up early. Like before the kids. That’s always a victory. But, it pretty much went down hill from there. As in, as soon as the kids got up. I didn’t do a lot of things I wish I would have. And I did a lot of stuff I wish I hadn’t. But, I forgive myself. It’s not all that surprising to me that I can be a train wreck. Tomorrow will be better, I think.
The part I regret the most was how terribly impatient I was with my children. At one point, I had to ask Gideon’s forgiveness. And again, it’s not all that surprising to me that I can be a real jerk, but I am always surprised at how quickly that little guy forgives. I mean, right away he forgives. And he hugged me big and made me want to be more like him. We prayed and asked Jesus for help. We do that a lot around here.
About dinner time, I was just wishing I had a great big eraser so I could erase the whole day and start over. But, God doesn’t really hand out big erasers to smudge out a day as if it never existed. He does, however, offer forgiveness when I need it and He gives tender mercies every time I take a new breath. That’s a lot of mercies. I need them all.
The good news is that the day ended well. Gideon stayed up late to help me in my garden. We both dug with our shovels and he informed me that he was a worker man and I was a worker woman. So, we worked hard out there pounding into the dirt and pulling out the weeds and all the stuff we didn’t want and doesn’t belong. Something about that is just good for my soul.
After Gideon finally went to bed, I heard the sky calling me so I went on a walk in the big field by our house to see it better. It was glorious. I’m so glad God gave me all this wide open space. I don’t know how people in the city stay sane. Where do they go when they just need some solace to think and talk out loud to God?
And when I got back home from walking in the big field, Brent was still out hovered over lawn mower parts. I’m pretty sure he didn’t fix it, but I’m not asking. I’m just glad he tried.
My friend told me this weekend that it’s not really about getting it all right. It’s never been about that. But, it’s about making enough space for Jesus, so that when we come to Him as we actually are, we can encounter Him as He actually is.
And he reminded me that a Christ-follower knows that they’re a mess, but that Jesus aims to make use of them anyway. So, he (or she) is cool with that. They’re cool with the fact that they’re a mess. Because their job is just to look around and find the little green shoots of grace. Then nurture them.
So, even at the end of a messed up day, I quietly grin.
Because I’ve found some grace. All those little green shoots springing up. And I’m tending to them.
Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way. (Colossians 3:15-17)
