I remember the day I first felt the ache. The insatiable longing to see beauty, to gaze upon it. To savor it. To be near it. I was just a young girl still, and we had moved into our house in town. Before then, we had lived down this dusty road. There was a river in our backyard and this big wooded field across the dirt road from our front yard and I had fallen in love with woods and fields and dirt and a flowing river. There my soul had room to breathe and most of my days were spent outside looking for caterpillars and digging up blooming weeds from the yard and planting them in my "garden". I was a strange girl. Didn't quite fit in with the girls at school who were perming their hair and shaving their legs. I just wanted to be outside with the wind and the sky and all the living things. [...]

Everyday when I wake up, I've got this longing in my deep down heart. I want today to matter. I want it to mean something. I want it to count. I'm not content to just exist. To let life whiz by while I overdose on the narcotic of busyness. So, in my getting from one end of the day to the other, I want today to matter and I want to feel alive.Yes, I want to feel life. Even the part that hurts. I want to feel all of it. Because even the hurting messy parts make me feel alive, and again, I want to feel alive. And I'm finding that I feel most alive when I see beauty. When I hunt for it and find it and then stand a spell and just savor it. And I think it's because God made me and He is beauty. That is, He is Beauty embodied and so He lights up the world with reflections of Himself and sometimes[...]

 Heeeeere fishy, fishy, fishy. Heeeeeeere fishy.Wait for it. Waaaaait...Slowly, quietly, eaaasy.Now SCOOP!Doh!This is ridiculous.Oh, well. Might as well try doing something productive around here. Splash. Whew. Glad I got my shower over with.That counts, right Mom?

If you ever wake up one day to find to your utter horror, that your ears are hanging too low, please, oh please don't panic. Just take a deep breath, find you a pair of toilet paper tubes, and cover those shameful things up.Things might sound a little funny. Like everyone is talking to you through an intercom while your head is stuck in an inner tube in the middle of a busy airport, but hey. No one will notice your ears. Relax. Just keep smiling. Or, if by chance you go outside and the sun is so shiney that it makes your eyes so squinty that you can't actually see much for all the sun shining squintiness, don't get all bent out of shape. Just pull out your pair of toilet paper tubes and shade those baby blues. You might have trouble walking in a straight line and you might feel a little li[...]

I think about God a lot. The God of the Bible, that is. It's not because I think that thinking about God makes me religious and I like to feel religious. Actually, the word religious makes me shrink back. It doesn't appeal to me. Maybe because I've been burnt by religious.But, I think about God a lot because when it all comes down, I really do believe that He's there. And sometimes, in spite of what I believe in my deep down heart, I can be ashamed of believing that He's there. Like, I'm some silly little kid who doesn't know yet that Santa Claus isn't actually real, or something like that. I guess because I know a lot of intelligent people and some of those intelligent people don't believe in God. And so I wonder if they think I'm silly for believing. Like the way I thought the girl in fo[...]

Sometimes I get afraid of life. I can't explain all the reasons why, but I just kinda go through these spurts or seasons when I'm more prone to be fearful of things and my heart feels fragile and I have a hard time roping my imagination in.And it's strange because it's something that happens on the inside of me and I'm finding that it has nothing to do with what's going on, on the outside of me. Like, today for instance. Today is the most lovely, breezy, warm, full-of-light kind of day. And there's nothing in my life to be afraid of. At least nothing that I can see. But, for whatever reason, I have a lot of what-ifs running through my head, and before I know it, I'm plumb sceered! Scared of the world. Scared for my kids. Scared of what could happen in my life. Just scared. And I don't like[...]

 Lord, You've given me a new day. And I can see that You're up to good things in the world, because You've called Your people to love. You say to us, "Do to others what you'd have them do to you." (Matthew 7:12) And I see that it's good that You tell us this, because this world is an awry place and it fixes things when we respond out of love.But, God, in and of myself, I don't have love. I mean, I can be nice. I can be polite. I can put up a good front when people are around, but when it's just You and me...well, You see. You see all the ugly on my insides. Seems I only love people when it's convenient. When they don't require too much of me. When it fits into my schedule. But, that's not really love. Isn't love made from sacrificial stuff? The kind that gives away, expecting nothing [...]

If you would, I want you to sit yourself down. Press play, and scroll down. Enjoy the song. Enjoy the pictures. I know it sounds cheesy, but this is spilling out my heart today. Like, it bleeds out. With a blood-red passion. It burns and bubbles up inside and I have to get it out to you. Sequence 4 by David Crowder Band This one thing...it changes everything..."The red of blood hit the dirtAnd the whole earth mourned and the whole world shookAs we watched them nail Him to a treeOh the wretched souls of sinners like me" "God you cameGod you cameMy God you came down" "God you cameGod you cameMy God you came down""Faint and weary you have sought meOh my Saviour God through the cross you have bought meWhat a love, your son for my salvationWhat a cost, your wondrous incar[...]

If you ever come across a toad, just a hangin' out in your shoe, don't be skeered. He ain't gonna git ya. He ain't gonna eat ya. So, just quit your screamin. Quit your runnin. Calm down. Relax. It's just a toad hangin out in yer shoe. That's all.So, if you ever find a toad just a hangin' out in your shoe, you should name him. You could name him Crocky, or Toady, or Jumpy, or Bumpy, or Stinky. He won't mind. You could even name him Old Yeller and he'd never even blink. Toads aren't particular about their names. They're pretty easy goin' like that. One thing you could do, too, is you could let him swim. You might be surprised at how those legs can kick and how that big belly of his can help him float. Now, don't be leavin' him in the swimmin pool, though. Toads don't like that. They ain't fr[...]