Category archives: Enjoying God

When I'm a Little More Still

I'm being a little more still these days. Because I have a new little one and my first trip to Lowe's with the three kids made me realize that I just don't quite have what it takes to go out and about just yet. I had thought it would be fun to get out and buy some living things. But, Gideon and Hope were far too fascinated with the bird baths and trickling water fountains to listen to their momma yell repeatedly to come back and Samuel took up all the space in the shopping cart with his car seat so there wasn't much room for perennials, anyways. Even if they were on sale for a dollar. So, I'm enjoying my yard more. And my house is staying a little cleaner because I used to leave my laundry and dishes behind on a whim, but now I get tired just thinking about it.And while I'm being a little[...]

Seeking To Find

I go out looking for You, to find You. You, who are Love, can do nothing but loveNothing but.And You are always whispering Always shouting it outThat You are real and You are hereI think I see. Only dimly, I see at firstWalking this earth half-blindBut then the clouds shiftAnd the light bends this way and thatAnd for one sheer brilliant second I see clearly.Your red-hot crimson loveSpilling downHealing this heart of mine.You are real and You are here.So I believe.  There at the kitchen tableAnd later on my pillow in the dark of nightI stretch my hands up toward YouAs if to touch Your faceAs if I could feel You on these fingertipsYou who made these handsAnd these eyes and all that I seeAnd can't seeYou are real and You are hereI feel You now.You were always all around meAnd I knew[...]

On How I'm Feeling Here Lately

There's something about having a baby that makes me feel fragile inside. And it makes me want to handle the world with care, to be easy around the edges, to touch gently because there are soft spots. I don't know if that makes sense. And there's just something so miraculous about a new little person that makes me see the world with new eyes. When we brought our little guy home, this babe who was born when the moon was rising all full and milky white, I sat out in the yard with him, under the pine tree in the dappled light. I could hear a mourning dove cooing, and the breeze was so gentle, too, lifting the branches and I felt like the world was new again. The grass was soft and tender, poking up between my toes and the kids ran and played and I just sat there all calm and peaceful[...]

When God Comes for a Visit

Sometimes, when I'm afraid, or stressed out, or a bit discouraged, I hear God tap, tap, tapping on the door of my heart. Or, He just peeks in through that little window of my soul and I look up to see Him smiling kind, so I invite Him in. I invite Him in because He won't stand there long, for He's not the sort to pester. He's quite respectful that way. I mean, I could easily choose to ignore His gentle rapping, and off He'd go, down the lane. He never barges in. And He never huffs and puffs as He turns or guilts me through the window with a glare. And when I invite Him in, He comes in cheerfully and He's a little chatty so we sit at the table and I pour up the tea. He's got this smile as He waits for me to catch His gaze, and then He leans back in His chair and says it tender, between gulp[...]

When You Ache To Be Held

I haven't written much lately because I've been so tired. (We're expecting another little person the middle of August.) When the kids sleep, I sleep. And I'm very thankful for nap time but it doesn't leave me much room for being creative. But, my mind hasn't stopped pondering, of course. It's always going, especially in the quiet hours of the night. (Maybe this is another reason why I'm so tired.)  When the house is hushed and it's just me and my thoughts with my God, I lay awake for a couple hours, thinking and praying about lots and lots of things. It's funny how you don't know all the things your heart is carrying around till it's plumb silent and you're laying still. The other night, I lay awake wishing God would hold me. Do you ever wish that? That the God of the universe, the On[...]

When I'm the Happiest

The other day we were at this restaurant with Brent's parents and Gideon was sitting on his Grandpa's lap. I watched my little guy as he sat up on his Grandpa's knee, all sparkly-eyed and laughing and intensely enjoying himself. In that moment, I was never more happy. All of a sudden the world seemed safe and good and innocent and I sort of got lost in the moment as I watched the love between them. The older man enjoying the little guy. The little guy adoring the older guy. And me enjoying them both. Some moments get captured and you never really forget them. Like the time I was still living at home with my parents and we were all three out in the yard doing some yard work. Dad had taught me how to back up the mower with the trailer hitched to it, so I was getting lots of practice, ha[...]

When I Eat A Tangerine

I've got these tangerines up on the sill. They're bright and ruddy in the afternoon light.When the sun bursts through and floods the kitchen sinkthey gleam. I sit down to rest and peel the soft, smooth skinand marvel at the God who made the tangerine.This perfect round plump of citrus juice.Wrapped up in ornamental white--a filigree.I think of how He could have made the world just shades of grey,and all the food flavorless and bland. We never would have known.But, He imbued it full of colors all ablaze and brilliant.Sunsets.Wildflowers.Kingfishers.Tangerines. And He packed this world full of flavors savory and sweet.He made my tongue to taste.My eyes to see. And some say in all this earth and the cosmos vastthere is no sign of Him. Not even a hint.But, He makes Himself known vivi[...]

Why Today Actually Matters

 There is a God who always ever was and He weaves His Story into our days. This same God who conducts the wind, who made the moss grow rampant beneath the maples, the One who fills up heaven, He also dwells here with us, in our one fleeting life. And these days, all these running together days, though chocked full of common, ordinary, seemingly insignificant moments, are not some erratic succession of events, a mere twenty four hours in which we plod along and aimlessly exist. No, these days, each and every one of them is brimfull of meaning and purpose. Today matters because the God who exists is alive and well and He is not confined to church houses or sacred assemblies, but He is found here in all the gritty, humdrum slices of life. He calls Himself the great I AM. Doesn't tha[...]

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