Tonight it feels kinda magical outside. I really should be out there. I used to go out more when I was younger. I’d walk around in the yard in the evening and listen to the birds and watch the clouds skid by and talk to God. Then I had a couple little kids. Now, I just step out for a few minutes, and think something like, “Wow, I really should stay out here,” then I go back in and lay on the bed and check Facebook. Shame-y, shame-y. What’s become of me? I should go out more. But, I’m so tired.

Tomorrow I turn 32. I love birthdays. Because people do nice things on your birthday. They say nice things and they sing this funny song and they all stare at you while they’re singing this funny song and you feel kinda awkward but somehow you still like it. You wanna know something embarrassing that happened on my birthday once? Okay, I’ll tell you. Once when I was working at this Dental lab, it was my birthday and I got out of my car and started to walk into work. Well, this other girl had gotten out of her car at the same time and she was carrying a present. I just knew the present was for me. I tried not to notice. I tried not to act surprised. But, I thought it was awful sweet of her to get me that present. Whatever could it be? Well, all afternoon, she never gave me the present. In fact, the hours ticked by and the end of the day came, and still no present. Come to find out, it wasn’t for me. It was for someone else. I felt like a dork. I felt like a dufus. I felt like a dufus dork. That’s what I got for thinking everything was about me. (But, it’s hard not to do that on your birthday.)

 Brent’s been especially sweet and thoughtful the last few days. He called up his parents on Friday and the kids spent the night with them so we could have a little break. It was soo nice. I hardly knew what to do with myself. First, I tried taking a nap. But, I was so excited about my new-found freedom that I couldn’t sleep. So, then I had this wild crazy idea and I wandered around in the yard and drank a root beer. Then I went for a walk in the woods by myself. I found the tree that Brent and I carved our initials in when we got engaged. I found an old dog house. I found some old broken bottles. I walked through lots of poison ivy. I prayed that I would not get poison ivy even though I deserved to for foolishly walking through lots of poison ivy. I saw some turkeys. I saw some neat wildflowers. I imagined finding a dead person. (I know, so morbid. Sometimes I’m morbid like that.) I decided to be done going for a walk in the woods by myself. I went to Brent’s office and stared him down till he finished so he could take me on a date.

Then we went on a date. And I picked out a restaurant and the food wasn’t the best but we did feel like we were on a Japanese game show. We kept expecting to hear gongs and for the people to break out in loud cheering and bang on weird instruments and for confetti to fall from the ceiling. It was just that kind of weird and funny. And the next morning we went on another date. And we dated all afternoon. (And we ate great food on that date.) And it was quite fun to remember what it was like when we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We even held hands on the parking lot and skipped. Well, I skipped. Brent kinda skipped. Maybe he was just briskly walking.

Well, I was going to tell you some of my goals and aspirations for this next year of my life. But, I suppose that will have to wait for a more serious and thoughtful post. If I continue on with this one, I fear my delirium will get the best of me. Peace out, my friends. Peace and love. And goodnight.