When I look into her eyes, I feel at home. My soul and all my inner angst calms down. I feel at peace. And I wonder for a little while, like, I just sit there on the couch holding her in front of me, gazing into her bright eyes, and I wonder, quietly, what it must be like to peer into the eyes of Jesus.
Because when I look into my baby’s eyes, I am looking into the eyes of someone who has never done anything wrong.
And Jesus never did anything wrong. He was absolutely pure, through and through. Innocent. Good, in the most perfect sense of the word. Delightful. Like, my baby.
I ponder that for a while and I let it settle in.
Innocence.
Purity.
Goodness.
Beauty.
And when I’m thinking about these things, I tell you, my soul calms and I breathe slower and deeper. It’s not until then that I realize I’ve been running around anxious and scared and troubled and a little jaded because the world is big and can be harsh and frightening and violent and I get worn out. Fears within and troubles without.
But, my baby’s eyes. They remind me of Jesus.
So, I pause and I just look deep into them and I sing over her and it seems that Jesus is close by, singing over us.
Someday… someday I will look into Jesus’ eyes. When I get to heaven, that is. And I’ll finally know Him fully. Which will feel so good to know, really deep down know the One who has fully known me all along.
I wonder what that moment will be like. Will everything in me heal up all at once or will it be slow, like a dawning? Like a turning of the leaves? Will I feel it? Being all fused and integrated into the person God always intended me to be, before the brokenness set in?
I just wonder. What will it be like to look into the eyes of Love?
Probably He’ll smile, gentle, and I’ll relax, like I do with my babe, and I’ll know what it’s like to completely trust. I’ve struggled a lot with trust on this side of heaven.
And probably there will be this knowing, on His part. Like, “I know You, Maggie. I made You and know You and love You. Can You feel it now? You made it, My love. Your faith is now your sight.” And He’ll cheer for me, for all my childlike believing.
And there will be a deep knowing on my part, too. Like, “I knew You were good. All along I knew it. Though it was hard for me to fully lean on You at times. But, thank You for the hard things that I bucked against, because it was then that I felt You strong and sure, the most.”
For now, I use my imagination. But, one day these eyes will really see the God who always was and is, and is to come. He whose Name is Faithful and True.
My baby gazes back at me and smiles the gentlest, kindest smile. And I think about these things, when I look into her eyes.
He has eyes like blazing fire, and many royal crowns on His head. He has a name written on Him that only He Himself knows. (Revelation 19:12)
“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.” (Ephesians 1:18)
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