Today was the first day "on my own" with the three kids. And I shouldn't really say I'm on my own. Because God is always right here, helping me, even when my Mama leaves and Brent goes back to work. I must say, it's been going rather well. And can you believe I haven't even had coffee or chocolate? I didn't know this sort of living was possible. I haven't even perished!There's something about having a new baby that makes me feel like I have this chance to start all over again. Like, it's a new year or something. When my mama was here, I asked her for some advice on how to keep up with the house and how to raise the kids, because it's slowly dawned on me that some things I've been doing haven't exactly been working. Bed time and meal times have been the most stressful moments of our lives.[...]

There's something about having a baby that makes me feel fragile inside. And it makes me want to handle the world with care, to be easy around the edges, to touch gently because there are soft spots. I don't know if that makes sense. And there's just something so miraculous about a new little person that makes me see the world with new eyes. When we brought our little guy home, this babe who was born when the moon was rising all full and milky white, I sat out in the yard with him, under the pine tree in the dappled light. I could hear a mourning dove cooing, and the breeze was so gentle, too, lifting the branches and I felt like the world was new again. The grass was soft and tender, poking up between my toes and the kids ran and played and I just sat there all calm and peaceful[...]

 Dear Son,I know we haven't met yet. Like, officially. But, boy do I love you. And it's getting so close and these last couple weeks have been increasingly hard to wait for that breathtaking moment when you birth into this world and into my arms. I remember how your big brother and sister's eyes blinked, the first time they took in all the light. And how they lifted up their head and peered up and our eyes met. There was this knowing, that we belonged to each other. And somehow in that moment, it felt like home. I don't think I can ever forget that. Life is just so much waiting and we've been waiting all these nine months as you've been growing and I've felt your movements as you've stretched and kicked and I've loved knowing that you are alive and well and full of energy. There were [...]

The other night, Brent and I got to go on a date, since the kiddos where happily spending the night at "Grandma and Grandpa's house." By the way,  I'm so thankful for parents who really do love and enjoy spending time with their grandkids. I heard some parents prefer their own quiet, busy lives. I'm so glad ours don't.Anyways, as we sat there at the restaurant, and got to know the waitress in between her bringing us heaping warm plates of food and refilling our drinks, I couldn't help but love her and want to know her story. So, I asked her questions and she told me bits and pieces in spurts. Then, when Brent got up to go to the restroom, I asked her if there was anything I could pray for her about, because Jesus lives inside me and I could feel Him loving her and I wanted her to know[...]

I'm learning to be still. It's awful hard to be still in this loud and crazy world that's always turning. Now, I don't mean that I'm just laying around on the couch all day long. (Though, somedays, I think it's perfectly acceptable to do that...like when you're nine months pregnant or just plumb tired.) But, I'm learning to be still on the inside. To shush my anxious busy thoughts by tuning into the voice of my Good Shepherd. The God who leads me beside quiet waters, if I'll but follow Him.Sometimes being still means noticing that one fuzzy white moth on the window while I'm at the sink, scrubbing up the pots and pans. And knowing that there's a God who made the moth and He wanted me to see it. And sometimes being still means I do just sit a spell and watch my kids, with my toes in the sa[...]

 Hi, my friends. I wanted to let you in on the gist of this book I'm writing. (Moody sent the contract--we're in the process of reading through and signing it, then it'll be officially official.)Thank You, Lord!So, the book isn't written yet, by any means, I just have this rough sort of outline. More like the framing of a house, and now I've got to fill it all in, but I'm glad you're here, doing this with me. It's a big deal that I even have the framework, because I'm a very random thinker. I think in a wiggle,  not a straight line, so I give God all the credit for bringing to my mind the bare bones and letting it make some sort of sense.  And the cool thing is that Brent and I have been praying like crazy for God to give me what I need, so I've been coming to Him much like [...]

Today is one of those dreary sorta drizzly days. The sky is awfully gray out there. But, not in here.  No, in here, our true colors are shining through. Because we've got these wild imaginations, so when the day turns dark and dreary, we can always pretend to be a cool, tea-drinkin', stringy-haired, hippy chick with some bling.Or we can be a cool hippy tea drinkin' bling flingin' chick who just happens to be standing by a robot-man. At least, I think that's a robot-man. A very serious Harley-ridin' robot man.  Or we can be a one-eyed moppy-haired skinned-up chin dude. That's always fun. Or a no-eyed moppy haired, skinned-up chin dude who so happens to be friends with a bling-flingin' psycho robot girl.Uh-oh.Time out. Did someone say psycho? You want psycho? I'll show yo[...]

My little Hope-love. Do you know how lovely you are? With your fudgesicle lips and your big blue eyes that seem to search right through me? When you first entered this world, we thought you were a boy. Because the ultra-sound tech had told us you were a boy and so for several months, as I carried you in my tummy, we thought you were and we'd named you Jonan Justus and you came out, looking so much like your brother, and yet you were very much different, in some pretty distinct ways. : )We were all shocked. I still remember the hush that came over the hospital room as it dawned on me and I asked that question, "Oh...is this a girl?" and the doctor and nurses stood still, mouths wide open. For a couple seconds, I don't think anyone even dared to breathe. And then we laughed, as your daddy cu[...]

There is a God of glory, who always ever was. Breather of stars, Maker of moon and Sculptor of the universe. This is He who knit us together when we were in our mama’s tummy, but who has held us in His heart, long before time, as we know it, began.He is the God with the shining face, because His countenance is full of glory, and glory always shines. And this One with the eyes that blaze like fire turns to the people that He’s made, and He looks right into His children’s eyes and seeks to bless us. And though our hearts are jaded and our souls troubled and full of doubts and fears, He cups our cheeks in His nail-scarred hands and speaks words,  tender and clear.And all the cosmos echo it out--this message reverberating through the skies. In wind and rain and shifting storm clouds. Thro[...]