Today storm clouds tumble across the sky. Not just that big space that I see outside when I look up. But in here, in my heart. All about me shadows shift. Outside. Inside. Sometimes life feels a bit unstable and I cry. I cry because my emotions are fragile and all mixed up. I cry because someone I love has just got the rug pulled out from under them and they're trying hard just to stand up. I cry because the world keeps spinning and sometimes it shakes and we're just small people and it's scary when we're not in control.  When shadows lengthen and skies grey up and thunder rumbles and my world feels a bit unstable, I just need some good news. Some truth to keep my soul from shattering. And the good news? The truth that keeps me whole? I'm not left here without comfort. And [...]

Sometimes I whisper this question. I whisper it low, at times inaudible...just in my heart, because I'm almost ashamed to ask it. But still I ask because it's something I need to know. Something I need to feel, in the deepest part of me. God...do You love me? As in, are You real? And if You're really there, do You love me?  I asked this just yesterday, walking out of church. Down the ramp toward the parking lot, I asked Him again, timidly. Do You love me? I mean, I know it in my head. Heard it a thousand times. Didn't the preacher just speak it to me a dozen ways just minutes ago?  It's just that I know who I am. I see all my insides. I see the mess and messes aren't pretty and could it really be true? Holy God loving me?  My eye caught a glimpse of beaut[...]

One day Bubby was bored. So instead of doing his usual--chasing orange kitty, throwing toys at orange kitty, pulling orange kitty's tail, and feeding orange kitty his eggs--he decided to sit down for a spell and read his little sis a book. After all, she looked as if she could use a bit of amusement. So he began...Once upon a time there was this guy named Bubby. He was pretty cool.Yeah, he's basically like the main point of this book. He was mostly the greatest guy that was around. He had some nice skills. He was good at wrestling. He was good at winning a lot of games. He was good at fighting and winning all the fights. One day he pinned orange kitty to the ground real, real fast. Then he escaped before orange kitty whipped out her tenacious talon claws. Then one day, Bubby heard like thi[...]

Sometimes I wonder how to have a praying life. I'm not trying to sound super-spiritual here. It's just that I believe that I was made by a Maker and I've read in His book that He made us to be close to Him. And one way that we become close to Him is just by talking. You know, like you're close to your husband or your best friend? You talk to them. You talk to them a lot. And you listen. Sometimes I really want to be more that way with God.I read this today:"You don't create intimacy, you make room for it." --Paul MillerI think I know what that means. It means that if I want to be close, if I want to really know someone with that deep kind of knowing, I have to carve out space for them. I need a place where there's no agenda, no striving to be efficient. None of this multi-tasking and busy [...]

 A couple weeks ago, our computer died. And I admit, I freaked out a little. Because I really like our computer. Because I really love facebook and I love seeing what everybody is doing and hearing what everybody is thinking and I love new information and I love reading my favorite blogs and I love my email and I love listening to Pandora. So, when my computer died, I was thinking that I would lose touch with people and I wouldn't get to interact with "grown-ups" during the day and I would get depressed.  But, no worries...we had given Bubby a really old laptop that he could turn on and off whenever he wanted to, so when my laptop stopped working, I just took Bubby's laptop away from him. And I had a nice little chat with him to inform him that his laptop would be off limits[...]

 This morning I woke up to a discouraging pile of laundry. Way too many dishes in the sink. (I try to get them washed the night before, but last night, we watched a movie instead.) The kitchen floor is frightening. The living room, well, let's just say there are things in here that ought not to be in here. They don't go in here. They don't go in here at all. I could go on, but I think you get the picture. My world is a wreck. What's worse? My little heart has already felt a few times like it may very well go under. I need some peace around here, inside here. And with those winds blowin' strong outside my window, I'm wondering if one little gust might just do me in.  On days like today, I light candles. (And I would include a picture here of my candles lit, but this place is [...]

Spring comes and we go for a walk in a garden. There's something incredibly life-giving about a plot of land full of wild things! I walk around like a little child who's just discovering something for the first time. I can't help but stop, sometimes stooping down to gaze at all the life.  Something about it heals me.I read that life first began in a garden. (Genesis 2:8) Sometimes I take time to think about what that means. I think about those first created people, the way their eyelids must have fluttered open. It's like they woke up one day and there they were, surrounded entirely by beauty. I wonder what it must have felt like to take that first gulp of air, God-breath filling their lungs. I love how He breathed into them and they were alive! And I love how He walked close to them,[...]

Hi Friends. I just wanted to tell you something. I just wanted to say that I changed my mind--I'm not going to blog every week day like I said I would. (I'm a girl--girls are allowed to change their minds at least a few times a week without coming across too emotionally unstable, right?)Anyways, here's why: I had been thinking that I should write more often because I needed to be more disciplined. (And for a girl who doesn't even make up her bed everyday, being disciplined at something sounded like a neat idea.) And I was thinking that I should write more because that's the only way to have more "readers." I mean, successful writers have like a bazillion readers. And my favorite blogger writes every day so I was thinking I should probably go ahead and be more like her. I am now chuckling t[...]

 You know a sugar high is coming when... Your mother hands you your very own dessert and you're determined from the get-go that you'll be gobbling down that whole big thing. And when you leave no finger un-licked, no crumb un-nibbled, no drizzle un-slurped.And you can be sure the sugar high is coming when although you know you really should slow down and savor each little morsel... You cram it down like you just don't care.And when you're feeling pretty stuffed and can't imagine taking one more bite...You go ahead and take twenty. But when you start to get the jitters and your head feels a little funny...And you're compelled to yell, "I'm CWAZY! I'm CWAZY!!!"Well, then it's probably true...you're on a sugar high.And if immediately after the crazy talk, you feel sad and [...]