One day Hope was busy at the computer. A very old computer. An old computer that didn't actually work, but she didn't know that so she was typing away. Suddenly, she felt a wave of inspiration, so she began to write...Once upon a time, there was this girl and all she had was a cat. That's it. No house, no food, no dolls, no paper cups, no spare keys, no extra sets of clothes. Just a cat. And that was that. His name was Rascal. And her name was Rascalina. And they were quite happy.But, then one day a handsome king came to town and he was looking for a cat. He had three dogs, a black stallion, two miniature donkeys named Beefus and Bosephus and a pig, but he didn't have a cat. And he wanted one. He wanted one quite badly. So, he rode very magestic...majestick...no, no, no... Uh, hey [...]

A box came in the mail for us. A very big box and we were very excited with very big excitement.  Well, we were excited until we were informed that we could not open the box until Daddy got home, and then we went into shock and our cheeks started doing this weird twitching thing and we started staring off into space and our brains went numb. We knew that we loved the box and we refused to leave the box. So to make the time pass quicker, we sat on the box and decided what in tarnations we could do for the next million years until Daddy got home. And we just knew we had to do something with this box.  And after 10 seconds of thinking we got so tired and we just couldn't take it any longer so we took a break from brainstorming and we just let our cheeks twitch and our brains go numb[...]

Our apologies, Mr. Lowe's Man. But we didn't actually come to your store today to purchase anything. We're just here to do a little inspecting. We came to check out all your refrigerators. And I do mean every. single. one of them. Cool, this one has blinky lights! And ooooh, you can get some tasty water from this one so you don't have to walk all the way over to your sink. Oh no, that's okay, Mr. Lowe's Man. We don't need any help.  Nuh-uh. We know exactly what we're doing. We always inspect the shower heads and turn all the little knobbies. Just call us the Quality Control peeps. You can pay us on the way out. Yep, I think this one will do just fine. Plenty spacious enough. You could fit like a jillion rubber duckies in here and still have room to slip-n-slide off the back.[...]

Bubby decided to take up running. So he ran, and he rather liked it. He ran with gusto.He ran with glee.He ran with the wind at his back and a song in his heart.He ran because he was alive.He ran because he was free.And he ran because he had recently eaten way too many cheetos.His running spirit was so contagious that his lovely sister decided to join him. She thought she would do her big brother a favor by becoming his running buddy.She thought she would help him out by pretending she was a scary clown with dragon breath.So she chased him and he fled.And boy did he flee.He fled like a wild gazelle on the mountains of Horeb.  And she continued to pursue like a scary clown girl with fire breathing dragon breath. She breathed her dragon fire on him and Bubby grew weak.He grew tired.He g[...]

Here lately, Gideon has been saying some funny stuff. He's at that fun age, you know, where he just says whatever in the world is going on in his head and whatever in the world is going on in his head is very interesting and usually makes me laugh. I love the way a 2 year old processes life.Like the other day, I got him this old television. Like the kind that has a vhs player in it. Does anyone even know what I'm talking about? Anyways, I told him not to touch it, because you know how a 2 year old is...they think happiness in life consists in pushing buttons. The more buttons, the merrier. And on top of that, a vhs player has this cool flap that you can open and stick your hand in there and there's all these other cool buttons on the inside that you can't see and it feels kind of neat and [...]

One day Bubby was bored. So instead of doing his usual--chasing orange kitty, throwing toys at orange kitty, pulling orange kitty's tail, and feeding orange kitty his eggs--he decided to sit down for a spell and read his little sis a book. After all, she looked as if she could use a bit of amusement. So he began...Once upon a time there was this guy named Bubby. He was pretty cool.Yeah, he's basically like the main point of this book. He was mostly the greatest guy that was around. He had some nice skills. He was good at wrestling. He was good at winning a lot of games. He was good at fighting and winning all the fights. One day he pinned orange kitty to the ground real, real fast. Then he escaped before orange kitty whipped out her tenacious talon claws. Then one day, Bubby heard like thi[...]