Here lately, I’m sad because my friend’s son died. They had to bury him today. Last night was the visitation and a part of me didn’t want to go. Because how do you look your friends in the eyes, who just lost their son and have anything at all to say? How do you know what to do with their bleeding-out heart? When I was talking to God about this, He reminded me of the elephants. When an elephant dies, all the other elephants huddle up close together and sort of sway. They just stay there for a while and though it’s hard for us humans to know what to do with unfathomable loss, we can learn a bit from those big gentle creatures. We don’t have to say profound things. Or any deeply spiritual things. We can just say, "I love you." And "I'm sorry."  We can just show up and be with the pers[...]

I have this kitchen floor. The other day, I sat down on it and leaned my back against the fridge and just thanked God for that space. I thanked Him for the grit and the grime. The way that linoleum, even though it's not my favorite and I'd really like to update it someday, has held me up as I've prepared food for my babes. It's been a cool place for my feet to rest as I've sat down beside them at the table and nourished their minds with library books and their souls with Scripture over a peanut butter and honey toast breakfast. That floor has kept me humble. All the times I've bent over it, to sweep up the crusty ramen noodles and the smashed cheerios and have had to scrub away at the sticky syrup smears and popsicle drips. The other night, Brent and I got to do one of my m[...]

  The last few days have been full here. Brent and I went to Chicago to do some interviews for the book. It was good. You know, Brent was truly amazing. Even though he was more "behind the scenes" he did so much to help us. We both very much felt like we were a team. He asked me on the way back to the car if it was fun. I think I told him that water-slides were fun. The interviews were good and deeply fulfilling and hard and emotionally taxing but I'm incredibly thankful for the opportunity to reach people who we could otherwise, never have reached. (Thank you, Moody Publishers!) And I'm thankful to the Lord for helping me to be my complete self. (Even though sometimes my self feels like a dork.) : ) But, today it's back to real life. Back to my living room with the cl[...]

Yesterday I noticed for the first time that my yellow crocus' are bloomin'! I noticed them right after Samuel stepped on them and crunched half of them to the ground. That's okay. He's too little to appreciate the delicate glory of the first crocus blooming. The way they holler out, "SPRING! I'm serious! It's coming! For REAL!" I praise the Creator of those crocus. And the Maker of that boy with his flower trampling feet. Last night I didn't sleep well. I've got these allergies that I've had for like, oh, the last six years of my life and I finally broke down and made myself an appointment with one of those allergy doctor persons. It's pretty tolerable except for when I can't breathe. Breathing is just so important. But, I'm thankful that suffering, even suffering from all[...]

I've been looking back over this year and thinking about my favorite things. I wanted to share them with you, just in case you could use some good ideas for some Christmas presents for your family and friends. (And because when a person has some favorite things, it's just hard not to want to share them with folks.) Let's start with music. The following artists/musicians have greatly impacted my life this last year. Music is so powerful. It helps us get through things, like a pile of dishes and a whole kitchen floor to sweep and mop. It makes hard days not so hard  and road trips with three little people in the back crunching cheeze-its and yelling random obnoxious things, not feel so long.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-ZpcJzGBpE One of our favorite groups is All Sons[...]

The other day, Brent and I drove into the big city. We went to Chicago to see the folks at Moody Publishers because we had never been and we wanted to thank the team that worked on the book. Now, I don't go to the city much. I live in a little neighborhood across from a great big corn field and I only have to drive a few miles before I'm in the middle of grape vineyards and apple orchards and strawberry fields and a big ole view full of sky. So, as we entered Chicago, I was struck by the strange beauty of all those grey skyscrapers huddled up together and the impressive labyrinth of overpasses and roads. Everywhere, there were just so many people. I looked over and noticed these two men in bright orange vests way up high on the roof of one of the buildings and in my heart, I grasped [...]

Over the weekend, Brent and I took a rest. We loaded up the kids and took them to meet their Grandma and Grandpa. Then we gave them smooches and waved good-bye and got back in the van and had so much fun together—just the two of us. We ate good food that we didn’t have to cook and laughed a good deal at each other. In all the daily grind of things, I had forgotten how ridiculously funny Brent can be. Because when he comes home from work, it’s supper time and I can hardly hear him tell me about his day (or vice versa) over all the chaos. Like trying to get Hopey to stay in her chair and eat her food while Gideon explains the difference between steam engines and power trains and Samuel protests loudly that he’s through with his meat and taters and really needs his sippie cup. And I [...]

Last week, I went on this walk in the woods. Well, I was supposed to be on a jog, but then I saw the woods and I always have these lines in my head when I see the woods, this poem by Robert Frost, The woods are lovely dark and deep But I have promises to keep And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep. Only I sort of rewrite the lines and they go something like this The woods are lovely dark and deep And I have dishes in the sink And I’m trying to go for a jog and get in shape But I think I’ll look for a turtle and some wildflowers instead. So, I was meandering through the wild woods, looking for morel mushrooms and keeping my eye out for a box turtle, all the while, talking to my Maker about the stuff just right there on my heart. Like how overwhelmed [...]

Do you ever get lost in your day? If you happen to be in the same season of life as I am, you might find yourself standing a little bewildered in the middle of your kitchen, as your five year old and nearly four year old are on their hands and knees on the linoleum, simultaneously wailing at the top of their lungs because of the wretched disappointment in which their lives have turned out. You know, because your boy doesn’t like the toast with “nuts” in it and your girl seriously needs her chocky milk “warmed up.” All the while, your eight month old is pulling all the cook-books off the shelf for the umpteenth time. A momma can feel so lost before 10 a.m. And if you’re not careful, everything will ream out of control from there and you’ll only get more lost-er. (No, that’s not a [...]