Go ahead, loud, crazy, rambunctiously busy world...spin away.  Run this way and that way and make your racket and live your frantic, frenzied, stressed-out life. But not me. Not this girl. I might never be here again. I'm going to be still to see.I'll go take a peek at her while she sleeps. I'll gaze at her long. I'll sneek in his room, trying not to trip over the blocks and the cars and I'll just enjoy this moment of quiet. I'll enjoy his being little. He's almost two already and nearly too heavy for me to carry. I won't wish him away. Not even when he's loud...and boy is he loud. I'll pause long enough to admire the light streaming through. I'll even rest. Why is everybody in such a hurry, anyway? Is life really more fun if you rush? Are you somehow worth more if you cram all the ac[...]

I love the snow. I love it because, unlike the rain, it falls so slowly, so silently, so gently. No hurries. Just drifting down, down, down...then rest.  Sometimes in the early morning, I get up to look out my window. I turn on the outdoor light and look up at the sky, just to watch it snowing. All is hushed. It makes me feel quiet inside.  When it snows, all the people have to slow down. And I like it when all the people slow down because it seems like, most of the time, everybody's always in a hurry. It feels like we're always just busy trying to get to the next thing. Sometimes I wonder if we've lost our way a little bit. Like, we think we're somehow more valuable or more important if we always have a next thing to get to. So, we fill up our whole lives with lots of things to [...]

Before too much time goes by, I'd like to tell you the story of Hope. As some of you know, we actually thought she was Jonan. Are you confused yet? You see, the technician doing our ultra sound about five months ago, told us she was a boy. And I was really excited. Because I really like boys. If she had told us that we were having a girl, I probably would have cried...disappointed tears. Let me tell you why--here's a glimpse of the questions that have gone through my head:What would I ever do with a girl? What if I have a girl and she ends up being the kind of little girl I was? Girls are just too complicated, right? Oh, and what if she doesn't like me? What if she doesn't want to be my friend?Well, it happened. I will always remember the moment the doctor handed me this litt[...]

Today was a hard day. Some days are just like that, you know? I felt like such a wimp, emotionally. Gideon is at this stage where he's no longer very fond of his toys and would prefer to play with cell phones, keys, the lap-top, toxic cleaning supplies, the toilet bowl and all the other "no touchies."And not only that, but he's been getting frustrated so easily. If he doesn't get something right away, he throws himself on the floor and begins banging his poor little head. Or he just starts smacking himself in the noggin while repeatedly yelling, "NO!" Or, then there's the occasional biting whatever is nearest to him...the chair, the toy, my leg.Now, please don't misunderstand. I really like this little guy, I do. And I'm not lookin' to ship him off to Abu Dhabi, just yet. But some da[...]

Perhaps it's mostly me, or mostly a "woman" thing, or mostly a "human" thing, but one of my greatest struggles each day is wondering if what I'm doing is important. The conversation in my head usually goes something like this: "Am I doing the right things today? Does this thing matter? Should I be doing something else? Now, why am I here again?"It isn't long before the day becomes full of activity, and I stand wondering if time has been squandered or if I've invested in the things that matter most. The good news is, I can talk to my Creator about these questions in my heart and He is near enough to hear me. And He answers. Isn't it comforting that He answers? And here is how He answered me today:I am the Vine, you are the branches; If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fru[...]

Hey, hey, it's my BIRTHDAAAYYY! (That was meant to be read very loudly and obnoxiously.) I'm actually mimicking a friend I used to work with, who upon every return of his birthday, would yell this out to anyone passing by so they would surely know this day was set apart...for him. Today I'm celebrating 30 years of life. 30 marvelously beautiful, sometimes hard, but mostly deeply satisfying years of living. A dear friend asked me today what my name meant. And the meaning of my name actually depicts a lot about my life, so I wanted to share it with you. I’ve heard that Magdalene has two meanings. The first is “prostitute," which is interesting because my birth mom was a prostitute and as a little girl, I had many thoughts that I would grow up and be the same. (I vividly remember lots of[...]

Today, I'm proclaiming the praises of Him who called me out of darkness into His marvelous light.(2 Peter 2:9)I woke up and my heart was heavy with the cares of the world and with the burden of myself. I had exerted very little energy, and yet I was so tired and worn down.But I looked to Him, who calls me out of dark thoughts.I praise Him because He changes the way I see.He opens my eyes to see beauty in the ordinary.He gives me purpose in the mundane.I think of Him and my heart is glad.Tears of sorrow are followed by tears of rejoicing.I move about in light because He made me a light dweller.I sit still.I taste and see that He is good.I drink deeply from His Word.I am whole again.Basking in light.I was empty but now I'm full.So, I proclaim the praises of Him who called me out of darkness[...]

After I listen to his muffled tired sobs for a little while and he finally gives in and falls asleep, I wait just a little longer till he's good and out...Then I sneak in and tiptoe around the toys just to peek over the crib to see him there.I like to see him there, all still and quiet and peaceful and oblivious and at rest.His chubby thighs...his soft little feet...his crazy mess of hair.And for some reason, I get this hilarious feeling in my gut and I start laughing and have to run quickly out of the room...Or, I get this ache and I start to cry because he's so peaceful and he's just a little guy and I want it to always be that way.The peaceful part...no worries...no fears...just sweet rest.And I pray for him.

One year ago today, my life forever changed. Something indescribably wonderful happened--Gideon came to share life with us.I remember that first slippery moment when he was handed to me. So tiny, so perfect...and he was ours? I loved him right away, but I was terrified. Whatever would I do with him? He was so warm against my chest and I was so scared. I swallowed hard. And prayed...Jesus help us!Those were such fragile moments...the first time we drove him home, the first time we gave him a bath, the first time we took him to the store...didn't anyone see how frightened I was? Surely they could read it all over my face.I laugh now at our awkwardness. Probably the funniest moment was our first party. Normally, I would have walked in smiling big and making friendly conversation...but not tha[...]