Dear Dad, may I please have one of those kitties from Grandpa’s barn? Mom said that I should ask. She said that I should ask because I’m really cute and I would look really cute with a kitty.

She said that you probably wouldn’t mind cleaning out the litter box for her since she can’t really do that right now since she has a kid in her belly.

I’ve been doing some research and did you know that petting a kitty helps you feel calmer in life? I think it helps you sleep better. And besides, we could train it to eat the moles in the yard. Mommy says you hate the moles and you want them dead and if they were all dead, then you would be calmer in life and sleep better.

So, what do you say? Kitty? Please? Mole-eating kitty? We could name him Varmint-Slayer. What about the Mole Assassin? I know, I know…Eradicator of Moles! What? That’s too long…okay, we could call him Kitty for short.

Just think about it.

Thanks.