The Proper Way to Eat Your Ramen Noodles

We eat a fair amount of ramen around here. We like ramen. A lot. (Much to my mother’s dismay.) According to my mama, ramen doesn’t have any nutritional value. Whatsoever. I agree with her. I ate a copious amount in college. I haven’t gotten any taller ever since.

So, anyways, you were probably thinking that I was gonna tell you the proper way to eat ramen noodles. Well, I am. But, first you must know that the only proper way is not proper at all. Unless you call, “crammin” proper. Because you’re just supposed to cram them in. You stick your head right down by that plate and you suck them up and cram them in. They’re good like that.

And if your kitty begs for a bite, you yell, “Away from me, you beggars!”  Because you deserve every last noodle on your plate. Even the itsy bitsy ones.

So you scarf and you slirp and occasionally you come up for air, but not for long, because they’re just so stinkin’ good.

And before you’ve neared your last bite, you go ahead and put in your order for another package because you know you’re gonna need some more.

Now, the other thing you should know about eating ramen, is that you probably don’t want to make it like your “first date” meal. Because it’s hard to thoroughly enjoy them if you’re worried about your tongue sticking out, or your eyes rolling in the back of your head, or your noodles falling off your fork.

But, if you just have to eat your ramen in the company of those you’re trying to impress, just flash your cheesiest ramen noodle grin. Don’t hold back. Don’t be ashamed. Make ’em think they’re crazy for not eating ramen, too.

And if they’re a keeper, they’ll go ahead and put an order in for another package for you…long before you’ve finished that last scrumptious, curly noodle bite.

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