I'm the weird girl who wants to know everyone's story. The check out lady. I want to know her. The guy in the hoodie walking down the road. I want to know him. I think this is Jesus in me, wanting to know, know, know. Connection and relationship -- He is always after that. I remember this one time at Burger King. It was before we traveled and I hadn't been out of the house for an entire week, so I was ready to see other human being's faces. And I had just had my last kid, so was feeling very fragile inside and scared a little of the world. That always happened to me after I carried a human for nine months and introduced them to the world. It felt like nothing was quite safe enough for my new babes. So, when I walked into places, I would constantly observe my surroundings[...]

We are home now to our house on the ground. To our grass that was nearly knee high till we finally got it mowed, and our mice who have moved into the attic, and our back door that's about to fall off, and well, to our regular, mess-making chaotic but beautiful life.I keep going for walks out in the yard, thinking, "It's SO great to have a yard! This is my grass! These are our trees! This is our turf! We can dig here and romp around barefoot and plant things but mostly just pull a ton of weeds." It feels SO good. I feel like I've learned some things since we left and moved around a few dozen times last winter and spring. I think God had to take me out of my environment to teach me how to be at peace when I come home.We had a friend over for dinner last night and I didn't even [...]

Love is good. My friend (who happens to be the most loving person I know) told me once, “No one ever runs away from arms open wide. They run toward them.” This particular friend’s love has healed me on more than one occasion.  This is my life’s journey—to be the most loving person I can become. I want to be an unconditional love that heals like that. But, love is hard. It’s not what you thought it was going to be. You thought it was going to be like the movies. You thought it was going to be passionate. And romantic, always. You thought there would always be ardent desire. You didn’t know there would be morning breath. Or jeans left on the floor after you just picked up. Or dishes left in the sink, when they could have just as easily been stacked in the dishwasher. You didn’t[...]

I told Jesus a while back that I wanted to help the world. I want to be like a shepherdess for souls. Someone who could come alongside some hurting, struggling-along people and take their hand and help them get to God's heart, where the healing and love is. I told Him this when I was feeling very loving and sentimental. When I wasn't drowning in the all the mundane duties of life. And then someone came knocking at my door. (Not my real actual door to my house, but at my email door. And someone came knocking at my facebook door. And someone came knocking on the telephone.) They were asking for help. That's when I remembered my prayer, "Send me Your broken, Lord, and I'll take them in! I'll be a safe place. I'll get them to the haven of Your heart." But, when God did send me Hi[...]

Today I walked into church, late as usual and scooted into the seat next to my friend. Everyone was singing and she had her eyes closed but I could see that she was crying. "What's the matter?" I whispered as I put my arm around her. "It's Valentine's Day," she shook her head and then she cried some more because she really wants a man, particularly a man who loves Jesus, but she hasn't found one. Yet. "Oh, yeah." I nodded. "It's such a crappy day."  We both agreed. And then I got mad at whoever made up Valentine's Day. Why did they have to go and do that? My momma told me back in my single days that Valentine's Day was mostly a big marketing scheme. The stores hype it up because they can make a lot of money off of cards and chocolate. I think she was trying to make me feel better[...]

Dear Sam, You didn't know this, but a lot of the time, your momma feels like a failure. Because I haven't been reading books to you and your big brother and sister lately. And I can't seem to keep this place spic and span. (Have you seen the toilet? Yeah, it's not actually supposed to be that color down in the bowl.) I'm not as organized as I want to be. Sometimes the bills get paid late. I get distracted too much on the internet. And I don't know if I'm doing anything right. Sometimes I'm just awfully annoyed with my own self. But, there are these moments. These quiet moments when I go and peek at you while you're sleeping and you make me smile. Or when you're trying to wrestle your brother down to the floor and he's yelling for you to quit and you're not about to budge an[...]

When my book first came out, I had lots of questions and ambitions swirling around in my head. Would it be successful? Would my blog readership skyrocket? Would I become a speaker? Honestly, I struggled along with bouts of both insecurity and of pride, because my writing had never been published and I wasn't sure how that would change my life. On the one hand, I wanted to become famous. But, on the other hand, I didn't. Suddenly, I felt pressure to build a platform and to do great things. Meanwhile I was embarrassed if anyone took notice of my work, and I mostly just wanted it to go out quietly into the world and do the thing God had intended it to do, while I stirred mac-n-cheese over the stove and rocked my babes. The thing is, it did go out quietly into the world and my life r[...]

God has been teaching me something lately. And by lately, I mean over the last several years of my life. He’s been teaching me how to be a safe place for people’s hearts. See, God puts us on the earth at the same time as other people, so that we’ll take care of each other. So, that we’ll have some folks to belong to and so that they’ll belong to us. Each one of us—we can be a safe place for another soul to find refuge. But, for some reason, this being a safe place for others, it’s not our default. I think I know why. In the beginning, and I’m talking way back in the Garden-beginning, our Maker had created this perfect space for communion. A beautiful place that was safe and where the first people could walk and talk with Him and live these wildly open lives. Just think of i[...]

I set out for a walk in the morning, while the kids and Brent still sleep. I’m not used to this—taking walks in the morning, but on this particular morning, I decide to be a little crazy. Switch things up a bit and try something new. More often than not, I sleep right up until Brent is smooching my forehead goodbye and one of the kids is crawling into bed with me, letting me know it’s time for some chocky milk and breakfast. But, on this particular morning, I actually do what I wish I would always  do. I get up early enough to enjoy a cup of coffee while spending time with Jesus. He calls Himself the Word and He teaches that we humans weren’t created to function on bread alone. Our life fuel shouldn’t only consist of coffee and toast and the physical kind of stuff. Because we’re mor[...]