One day Bubby was bored. So instead of doing his usual–chasing orange kitty, throwing toys at orange kitty, pulling orange kitty’s tail, and feeding orange kitty his eggs–he decided to sit down for a spell and read his little sis a book. After all, she looked as if she could use a bit of amusement.

So he began…

Once upon a time there was this guy named Bubby. He was pretty cool.

Yeah, he’s basically like the main point of this book. He was mostly the greatest guy that was around. He had some nice skills. He was good at wrestling. He was good at winning a lot of games. He was good at fighting and winning all the fights. One day he pinned orange kitty to the ground real, real fast. Then he escaped before orange kitty whipped out her tenacious talon claws.

Then one day, Bubby heard like this yelling noise. It was kind of loud and shrill and it was definitely coming from a sissy who was scared. It was Bubby’s sissy. She was getting attacked by a very large  bear cat.

So, Bubby did like six leaping jump-triple-turn flips and he landed right on the bear cat’s neck. Then he did some cool back-fist punches and whacked the bear cat repeatedly with his big strong whacking hands. Then he wrestled the bear cat to the ground in like no time, and put him in a really cool headlock. The bear cat was pretty scared. The bear cat was crying. The bear cat tried to fight back but Bubby had some amazing block moves. So, Bubby won.

After that, Sissy started cheering and thinking that Bubby was so brave and strong and neat and stuff. She kept saying things like, “Wow…you’re strong.” And, “Whoa…how many muscles do you have?” And, “You’re pretty much my most favorite hero ever.”

Um…Bubby. I just don’t know about that. Does it really say that?

Bubby, are you tricking me?

No, I’m dead serious! See, look! It says it right here!

But, Bubby…that was a picture of a girl in a big hat.

Uh…yeah…I was just about to read you that part. So, then there was this other girl in a big hat and she was so surprised about Bubby that she wanted to nominate him to be the champion of all. The end. (Slams book closed.)

Welp, snack time!

Mommy, can you read to me next time?
I think I’d rather hear about a shiny pink horse.