One year ago today, my life forever changed. Something indescribably wonderful happened--Gideon came to share life with us.I remember that first slippery moment when he was handed to me. So tiny, so perfect...and he was ours? I loved him right away, but I was terrified. Whatever would I do with him? He was so warm against my chest and I was so scared. I swallowed hard. And prayed...Jesus help us!Those were such fragile moments...the first time we drove him home, the first time we gave him a bath, the first time we took him to the store...didn't anyone see how frightened I was? Surely they could read it all over my face.I laugh now at our awkwardness. Probably the funniest moment was our first party. Normally, I would have walked in smiling big and making friendly conversation...but not tha[...]

I would like to tell you about a personal journey I'm on. It's a journey from fear to freedom. With each new day, the One who loves and cares for my soul, brings me one step closer to freedom. Oftentimes, however, my steps are so feeble and small that I hardly notice any progress at all.Photo creditOne of my fears is the fear of man. That is, I'm afraid of what others think of me. To be blatantly honest, I crave approval, acceptance, affirmation. I want you to like me, to think well of me. And I'm afraid that you won't.Photo creditI'm afraid that I will say or do something that will cause you to think less of me. Or perhaps to just downright dislike me. Horror of horrors...you may even reject me. Lash back at me. Cut me out of your life.Photo creditAnd while I know that all these are norm[...]

This month we're dog-sitting for some friends.Just wanted to include you in the life and times of Bubby and the Mongrel.Bubby, Mommy wants you to meet someone...her name is Annie...I think. For now, we'll call her Smelly Breath.Oh, HI, Smelly Breath! I liiiike you. I like your widdle ears.Come to da Bubby.That's right...you like me!You want to submit to my every command.I have great plans for you, Smelly...we will play hide-n-seek......and give each other smooches...and noogies!Mommy, can we keep Smelly forever?I promise to share all my favorite toys with her.What's mine will be hers.What's hers will be mine.I'll teach her cool tricks, like how to pick up all my toys for me...and how to fetch me some snacks from the pantry.Yep..we'll go on lots of adventures together.I will comfort her in [...]

Today the sun came out to play. So, when Gideon laid down for a nap, I bundled up and sat in a little spot up against the house, soaking in all the warmth.I've never yearned for spring this much--it must be these northern winters.The sun-filled days are few and far between, but not one of them is taken for granted.I try to look for beauty in the bleak. There is a loveliness about old things passing away and the promise of new things coming.But a girl can only take so much wither and decay.So today, I sought out some life...And I found it, there at my feet, as I sat quietly in the sun.And when I find life, I have to gather it up. So I found a bucket......and some tools for digging.(This is what you use when you can't find your spade.)Here's the dirt. I tried to be poetic about the dirt but [...]

I committed to one more post from my poetry days, so here it is.However, before I share this last poem with you, it begs a bit of background.As some of you know, I was adopted when I was a little girl. You can imagine that life before I was "rescued" was unsettling, to say the least. As a teenager, I had a hard time processing those early years. I wondered why God allowed certain things to happen. There were wounds and I struggled to understand why.My Mom introduced me to Jesus the same year her and Dad adopted me. I learned that He was kind and loving and merciful. But still there remained this question deep within. If He was truly kind, if He was truly loving, if He was truly merciful, then how, how could He allow such awful things to happen to a little girl who couldn't protect hersel[...]

Well, not to bore you, but I promised yesterday that I would do a couple more posts, taking you back to my early teenage years when I used to write poetry.However, before I share the next poem with you, I have to show you something that will make you laugh me to scorn.See this lovely book? Yes, yes, it's a dictionary. You know, what we used to use before everything went online.Before we had internet at our house a few weeks ago, I found myself in a quandary. I needed to check the spelling of a word, and to my horror, I didn't know what to do because I couldn't just look it up on the internet. But then I had this vague remembrance of how I actually used to look words up in this book. So, after pilfering through my library, I found this and dusted off the cover. I opened it up....to find...T[...]

Did you know I used to be a poet? It's true. Back when I was a young, hormonal, highly self-conscious, desperately confused teenager.I'm so thankful for years that bring growth and maturity. Those were excruciatingly hard years. Those were the years I wasn't good at talking about my feelings. I'm sure I would at least try to convey them, but a few rambling words in and I'd be all confused again. And stuck. So, I think that's why I wrote poetry. It just came--I fell in love with beautiful words and scenery and somehow I seemed to get it onto a page.This is my poetry journal. It's only half full, but, oh the comfort it brought me every time I plunged myself into these billowing waves to release thoughts and feelings and imaginations.So, for the next few blog posts, I'm going to willingly emb[...]

Hey Mom, what's that you got up there? Smells kind-a weird. But it must be good the way you're gnawing on that thing. Hand it over.I need to try a bite or three.Oh my word!What in tarnations is this thing?Is it really edible? Smells like fermented rubber. Tastes like it, too.What did you do? Leave this out on the counter for weeks?I've got to find a better use for this thing.Take that you despicable baby toy! (Whack! WHACK!)My weapon is no match for you. Now DIE! (Whack!)Sheesh! This thing is indestructible!I still can't believe Mom actually eats these things.Ohhh...hurts my belly.And my tongue is starting to feel kind-a swell-y.Hey, that rhymes. And here's another rhyme:Pickles are sourPickles are stinkyI wouldn't eat one,If you twisted my pinky.Okay, enough of that...Now, let's see. I've[...]

I came across some old pictures the other day that brought back some very pleasant and funny memories. See these care-free kids? That was us before this guy came along. Actually it was us before we were married. You know, when I was still dressing pretty and wearing make-up all the time and when we used to go on dates like every other night. (Note to self…Maggie, you really should stop wearing your favorite sweat pants every day. And it wouldn’t hurt to wear make-up a little more often…)Anyways, there’s something you should know about this night. So, if you’ll just stay seated for a few minutes, I would like to recount to you a funny story. Perhaps it all began when I watched Anne of Green Gables for the first time, or maybe I was just born a free-spirit, but I’ve always enjoy[...]