When It Feels Like Your Heart May Fail

It’s hard being a girl sometimes. Or maybe it’s just that it’s hard being a human. You know, when your emotions are telling you one thing and you’re sure it’s not the truth, but you just have the hardest time not believing it. And don’t you just hate it when you try to tell yourself differently and you do a bit of explaining to your feelings that they’re not gonna rule you, and they’re not gonna trick you, but try as you may, your emotions just won’t obey? (Big sigh.) That’s hard.

Sometimes I’m going about life and I’m doing just fine…until I hear that whisper. My feelings start talking. You know, Maggie, you really have a lot to be afraid of. Life is good now, but just you wait. You won’t be able to handle it. Bad things will happen and you’ll lose hope. You’ll lose it all. You’re going down…it’s just a matter of time.

And then I feel the weight. That blasted weight that presses in. It’s so heavy. The weight of fear. And it’s painful…I feel it even now. Oh, and then the misgivings come. I wonder if that’s the worst part. God isn’t really enough. He isn’t even good. He can’t be trusted.

It’s a good thing that I’m not left alone when moments like these come. It’s a good thing that the God who I call into question makes some pretty strong claims, and that I can look back over my own life and see that He actually means what He says.

For one thing, He says that even when I’m walking through a deep dark valley…He’s there. Even if my worst fears were to come true, He’s not about to leave me. He’s an ever-present God. A God who feels the closest when I need to feel Him most.

That’s what I love about Him. A God who calls Himself the Comforter, actually comforts. Like, in a way that I can feel Him. His Spirit upon my spirit. This God can take a girl full of misgivings, prone to panic, too-easily shaken by the slightest tempest and He offers Himself, to be always with me, to be always for me…and to work out everything, especially the bad, for my good.

Why would I not trust a God like that?

And so on hard days, when my feelings are telling me that I might as well just crawl in a hole and perish, I’ll fight. I’ll speak the truth to my heart and I’ll thank the God who has all things under His control. Blessed relief! I can quietly accept every adversity that comes my way when I know that my God is the biggest. He’s the strongest. He’s the winner. He knows what He’s doing. And I am His. 
Peaceful rest returns to my soul again. My breaths are slower, easier. That weight that I was feeling–it’s been lifted. All is well.
Have you ever heard this song? I’m singing it today:


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